This one, in my opinion, is insane. He applied for the job and when asked to confirm an interview date/time, this was his reply:
I am actively looking to transition into a 30 hour/week (I trust he realizes that he would be paid on a part-time basis then?) permanent (non-contract, non-consulting) position that offers benefits. Stability, benefits, and attire are more important than pay rate.
Please kindly see the FAQ below for additional information.
Resume Attached (Updated: November 15, 2013)
Currently, I have limited access to my personal cell phone and personal e-mail during the business day. Hopefully, the following will answer your initial screening questions.
* Current Fulltime Salary: $120k + 15 Days PTO + Full Benefits (FT = 40 hours or more here)
* Relocation: Anywhere within Virginia
* Citizenship: U.S.
* Clearances (Active): TS/SCI with FSP
* References: Not available (Classified contracts)
* Best Contact Method: E-mail
CRITICAL (“Must Have”):
* W2 Salary (No W2/1099/C2H “all-inclusive hourly rate”, please)
* Basic Benefits (PTO, 401(k), and Health/Dental)
* Business Casual Attire (“Dockers and Polo”, please) (Seriously?)
* Minimal Travel (If you’re on MY clock, you’ll travel where you’re sent… Jesus. I can’t make the customers relocate and it’s during working hours!!)
* Available Parking
If you would like to proceed to a phone interview, please kindly take a few moments to review my resume to confirm that my skills and professional background are well aligned with this opportunity. (First off, I already replied requesting an interview. I am NOT doing a phone interview hence my request for an IN-PERSON interview. You, sir, do not get to dictate what happens if you want to be employed here, which doesn’t actually matter now as I’m not willing to employ you.)
If there appears to be a match, I would be delighted to schedule a phone interview during lunch or after 5 p.m. As a professional courtesy, please allow me to request that my personal cell number not be added to any files or databases and that all phone conversations be scheduled in advance. (Trust me, NONE of your information will be added to ANYTHING within my company.)
Additionally, please kindly hold off on sharing or submitting my resume until we have an opportunity to discuss this position in more detail. (WHYYYY would I “share or submit” your resume to anyone??? I’m doing the hiring you fuckface.)
I look forward to learning about prospective partnership opportunities!
No need to stay up at night waiting, sir, because I won’t be contacting you for any prospective partnership opportunities. Because… There are none.